the emo wolverine writes

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Sunday, August 3, 2014

Update + Post + Sunshine Award

I do this tooo much
Alot of things have been on my mind at the moment so here I am, trying to make some sense of it.

I think I know why I study so hard. It's because I'm not good at anything else and I really want to prove myself useful in some sort of way. I've always been placed in the background and never really complimented and the only time people notice me is when they find out about my grades.

I'm not good at anything except studying. I am a disaster in the kitchen and I can't clean properly. I think I have some sort of problem with following verbal directions. I'm not pretty or sociable and I think I just come across as a sullen girl when I really want to be special in some sort of way and I think it's getting grades that has become my answer to this.

I need to pass this MCAT test. I mean, what use am I if I can't pass it? I'm terrible at everything and useful for nothing. The least I could do is ace it and get a good grade. And if I do fail, what do I do then? Sit at home and start messing things up until I get them right? I can't stand constant failure.

Yes TT__TT
Well, those are three random statements that I have formed this weekend. Now on to the good stuff >.>

Saturday, 2nd August 2014 - went to a friend-of-my-dad's place. They had come to visit us and stay at our house in Florida and they moved back to Pakistan shortly after we did but they were in Karachi and we were in Islamabad. Now they've shifted to Islamabad and we met for the second time six years after the first (2008). It was pretty cool xD All I remember are small fragments of memories but my mother remembers a lot more and she's like "Do you remember how mischievous those kids were- they used to do crazy tricks in our swimming pool and remember that incident at the Arab restaurant-" and I'm like "Uhh. I don't remember it all that well, just sketchy stuff". I'm going to dig out my diary from that summer and see what I can find.
After that, we went to my grandmother's place where they were planning to leave for a barbeque picnic the next day.

Sunday, 3rd August 2014 - Sooo- the barbecue picnic! WE set out around 8:00 am ish and went to my grandmother's place to wait for everyone to gather so we could leave at the same time. My aunt had already left early in the morning to set the grill and stuff. We shuffled passengers around in the two cars we had and I had to sit with my aunt's daughter who got left behind because she was asleep and her mother didn't want to wake her (she's barely two years old). Aasia wasn't a problem at all, until we almost reached our destination and that's when she started squirming and crying and I was at a loss on how to keep her quiet. She didn't quiet down and kept wailing until she got back to her parents.
The spot we picked was awesome. The view was great and despite weather reports, it was surprisingly cool with an occasional breeze.

Two of the cars. The one on the left is ours.

Here's part of the view and the third car.
Found some mushrooms >.> or toadstools. Whatever.
Food >.>
It was lots of fun and a well spent Sunday morning :D Now on to the Sunshine Award.

The Sunshine Award is pretty common and it involves eleven answers, eleven question and then some nominations etc. So here are the questions I got.

Q) Happiest experience you've had so far?
A) Well, I can't really recall anything specific. You know how people in books haave this good stuff happening and then the narration adds something cheesy like "And that was the happiest moment that XXXX was ever going to have for a long time" before something tragic happens? Well, apparently my life's narration is yet to say anything like that- tragic turn happening or not.

Q) What are your interests?
A) I'm interested in reading, writing and making things! But when I mean making things, I am usually talking about art and craft sort of things. Kitchen creations aren't exactly my specialty... *quickly shoves all kitchen mishaps into cabinet under sink*

Q) Favorite artist and why?
A) Are we talking about painting artists or music artists or some other kind of artists?

Q)You can control one of the four elements. What would it be, earth, water, air or fire?
A shame I couldn't find any Korra gifs, tumblr is being super slow.

Q) Favorite book of all time?
A) Well that's a super hard question, but whatever I recommend on my blog can be said to be on my favorites list xD

Q) Would you rather have a beautiful voice or be an amazing virtuoso of an instrument of your choice?
A) The voice- definitely the voice.

Q) Favorite color?
A) Red, then purple and then black!

Q) Name one ambition of yours
A) Probably reading, writing and stuff. Idk >__>

Q) Any secret talents?

Q) How do you want other people to see you?
A) Cute but ferocious... OMG SORRY I HAD TO USE THIS OMG HE'S SO FUNNY xD being ferocious and all xDDD

Q) Name one characteristic you want in a boyfriend.
A) Loyal and all the other random fluffy friendship stuff.

I think watching Sherlock and Supernatural and Korra and Tumblr is getting way too  much into my head.
Oh, on the bright side, I forgot to tell you guys that I started playing DOTA 2 >.> and I keep dying and sometimes its fun. I've settled on three characters that I find dependable so far- the Tidehunter, the Legion Commander and Lina. I've played multiplayer a few times but everyone's always like "Noob >.>" and I'm like "Yes, Noob >.>"

Anyway, my questions for the Sunshine Award.

1) The first book series you've ever read.
2) Do you have conversation with yourself? What is it usually about?
3) Favorite childhood memory?
4) That one arch nemesis you have/had- could you describe them?
5) How did you and your best friend meet?
6) Every had an instant dislike of a teacher? (Like Harry and Snape?) How did you realize you didn't like them?
7) Recently joined fandom?
8) The last book you read?
9) The most exciting thing that happened to you this summer is?
10) Blog vs Journal- pick one!
11) Why do you blog?

My nominees
Kashaf A
Maine Lyn
Syed Arsalan Aijaz


  1. DOTA? Call of duty is for me :D
    which camera do you use btw?
    Nice post, good family time! And you underestimate yourself :)

    1. DOTA (Defense of the Ancients) I'll introduce it properly sometime this week.
      I use the camera on my phone, its 5.0 mega pixels.

  2. It doesn't matter if you're not a pro at gaming, as long as you enjoy it! :D (My bros disagree, but whatever)

    The place you went to looks so fascinating!

    And I bet you're better than you think you are ;) I try to be smart and hardworking, but meh :l

    1. I know, that's what I told MY brother but he's like "I don't think you should play DOTA anymore- you're just terrible at it"
      Well, I'm not gonna listen to him >.>

  3. This post was actually written by Cogitated Birdie as she had hacked into Kanra's account. XD
    I'm sorry but i felt like i was reading about myself. :p

    1. Well I think that's just another reason on the "Why we're bffs" list xD

  4. DOTA? I don't really play video games but my brothers love it, and it doesn't matter if people think you're not pro, keep playing as long as you're having fun :)
    Don't say you're not pretty! I'm sure you are! Remember, beauty is only skin deep, and since God made you, you are beautiful in your own way. Never let people make you think otherwise :)
    Sounds like you had a good time with your family :)

    MJ //

  5. I love your pictures! So funny. Awesome post :)

  6. I understand about the studying part. I get good grades and my friends see me as this good, clever, hardworking girl. It's a bit stifling because I'm MORE than this. I don't want anyone to stereotype me like that, but the thing is, I used to study hard to be special, to be somebody. And then I realized that it only made me happy for a while before people stereotype me as a nerd. I say, study for education. In the end, it's not being special, it's about having a group of friends who like you and think you're special regardless of grades. I'm still learning this too :)

  7. The first three paragraphs are my life autobiography. I am used to feeling completely worthless and replaceable because I don't have a significant skills or talents. So I study really hard for the same reasons as you do. Although I am not really sure if I do it for the sake of my future or for my own self pride.
    I still think I haven't yet figured out what my 'hidden' passions are, though. I guess it's a little bit too late in life to find them out but in the meantime, I'm going to concentrate on getting good grades, just like you do :)

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  9. I don't really play DOTA or any other games recently. My bro said I sucked at it. *hides face in shame* 
    Girl, you are better than that. 
    I like your photos and its amazing. Hope you had a good time.


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