#RantTime

I think every one has had those times where they used to have a pretty good friend who has just either drifted away or vanished completely. Don't you hate it when that happens?

Well, it's most certainly not your fault, I'd say. I think I've written this somewhere before, but I'll write it again. Personality is a dynamic aspect of a person and it is constantly under evolution. Your personality will never be static because it's going to be affected and continuously modified with every new bit and byte of information that enters your system.

Having said that, with so many different people constantly evolving in so many ways, its almost reasonable to realize that of course, some cogs will not turn together in the same direction. There will always be people who would have evolved -although they may appear to be static- but the result of some may not be pretty for all.

It's okay if someone leaves for you that. I think I understand things like this completely. People are not dolls, they think and feel for themselves and everyone has a right to go where they think they fit in better or where they are given the attention they think is deserved.

You might think that means you're left behind, but that's not exactly correct. You see, it takes two people to tango, or in urdu, taali do haath se bajti hai (you can only clap with two hands). And from Newton's point of view, every action has an equal and opposite reaction. You might think you're stationary, but that is not true at all. You change just as much as the other people around you. You just have to sit down and see yourself through the days and weeks and months and years.

But the thing is, there are times when you have to rethink about those old days and you wonder if you could set things right, perhaps. Let me tell you right now.

#NotPossible #Nope #Don'tEvenTry

I've tried patching things up TWICE and both failed, epicly. The first attempt was when I just randomly texted for absolutely no reason other than to strike up a conversation. Of course, the conversation happened but it kept losing its "We're talking!" spark so fast, I was like "Naw, okay let's give up" and didn't bother replying when it was my turn to reply to a ".__." text.

Next, there was a third party who told me that the other person was like "Omg Catalina doesn't talk with us". Wait, let me explain this one properly. What happened was a sort of a fight where I was neutral-ish and then things got bad and people split up. So the split group was on their own and pretty happy about it too, so I couldn't really bring myself to say "Yo wassup" or anything cause that would be kind of awkward. I mean, I didn't wanna seem too clingy or end up trying to pile up guilt on their side.

Anyway, so on the request of this third person, I texted the person a neutral "Hello" and I get messages that come back like, twenty minutes later every time. But it wasn't even a proper conversation, it just went like "Hello" "?" "I said hello" "Hmm?" "I just wanted to say hello" (this was the conversation that lasted about an hour) and then "What do you want" "I was just checking up on you, like whats up and stuff" "Are you kidding me?" "Ah.. which answer would be be best?" and then there was a long pause and then "I'm sorry but I'm a polite person, go talk with someone else"

LIKE EXCUSE ME ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT I AM NOT POLITE DID YOU JUST NOTICE HOW LONG IT TOOK YOU TO REPLY ARE YOU SAYING THAT I AM RUDE DID YOU JUST CALL ME RUDE HOW DARE YOU- GO DROWN IN SEAWEED EXCUSE ME.

So, lesson learned is DON'T EVEN BOTHER TRYING TO WIN BACK FRIENDS WHO DON'T EVEN CARE because no one is going to notice the effort you put in, no one is going to notice how you gathered up the courage, no one is going acknowledge that you tried. And you know the worst part? The person you're trying to make it up to will most definitely make themselves feel victimized and tell themselves "I don't deserve to have this person come talk to me" and that would just make the overall balance even worse. So don't do it. Don't try gluing things back. It'll just get even more ugly. Leave it where it is. No one will think twice when they walk by the shattered remains. No one... except you.

The Compounded Liebster Award

I love being awarded. It gives me an excuse to click on the "New Post" button with something substantial in my mind. Also, I love answering questions. There's something vaguely satisfying about trying to answer truthfully. Anyway, without further ado, I will start typing my fingers off for this post!

My nomination came from Girl in Ebony (click right there for her Liebster Award post) and then Maine Lyn nominated "whoever is reading (my post)" and because I liked her questions so much, I jumped at the second chance xD

Well, first of all, let's go over the conditions. The Liebster Award requires you to share eleven facts about yourself, answer eleven question put forward by your nominator and then nominate other bloggers. (There are some other specific conditions as well, but let's just quickly shove it into the Recycle Bin >.>)

ELEVEN FACTS

1. I like downloading lots of photo apps and using the same photo in all of them to see which one I like better 
2. I prefer written conversations rather than spoken ones.
3. I don't like being unnecessarily touched because I have a feeling that the whole world has an agenda that involves tickling o.o
4. I don't mind hugging :D
5. I like watermelon flavored candy and stuff, but not the actual fruit, which tastes rather bland to me.
6. I love watching anime and shows like Doctor Who o.o
7. I enjoy reblogging and trying to set a queue up to 200 posts on tumblr :3 (its all anime though)
8. I'll go through tons of DIYs and never do a single one .__. sad, I know.
9. I've been planning to splurge on art supplies but I haven't got the chance yet ;n; my MCAT classes seem to be draining all of my everything!
10. Did I tell you guys about my new laptop :3 Oh, I think I did 
11. I think Naruto is turning out to be an extremely stretched out story >.> I must make a post on why it is so annoying...

Okay, now for the eleven questions. First of all, from Girl in Ebony :D

Q: What question do you hate to be asked?

A: *concerned auntie voice* "Beta (dear), do you eat properly?" like heck yes auntie I stuff my face like a barbarian, it just doesn't show on me >:| (no, I don't stuff my face like a barbarian, but I don't diet at all. I eat whatever I want, whenever I want, but it just DOESNT SHOW ON ME)

Q: What was your favorite conversation (with your crush) about?

A: If we are talking about crushes, they're mostly fictional and involve things like "EXCUSE ME COULD'NT YOU EVEN TRY LIVING I MEAN WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DIE ITS NOT FAIR" and then I make a new scenario where the character doesn't die. I think that could be, psychologically, called denial...

Q: What have you wanted to do for ages but never done? When do you think you'll be able to do it?

A: I've been wanting to make a decent, lovely scrapbook ;n; I've been wanting for ages, and I was like "I will do it this year. Iwilliwilliwill!" aaand... I'm still I-will-ing...

Q: Who do you miss most at the moment?

A: Well, I miss all of my friends xD It's summer vacation, so no school, so no seeing them every day! Plus, Lilly's gone to another city :( But I skypes with Birdie yesterday- it was fun and I was like, let's do it every week. Unfortunately, I can't do that with Lilly (probably) because she's in a hostel at the moment. Apart from that, I just have this exam tomorrow, then I'm planning on asking my friends to go out and watch a movie with me or something (maybe Maleficent?) 

Q: Do you believe in horoscopes? Why/Why not? Do you read it?

A: No, I don't believe in horoscopes because my religion says it is not permissible. For clarity, let me quote.

Not only is the practice of astrology is haram, but also visiting an astrologer and listening to his predictions, buying books on astrology or reading one's horoscope are also forbidden. Since astrology is mainly used to predicting the future, those who practice it are considered fortunetellers. Consequently, one who seeks his horoscope comes under the ruling contained in the Prophet's statement,"The salah (daily prayer) of whoever approaches a fortune teller and asks him about anything will not be accepted for forty days and nights."[Sahih Muslim, vol. 4, p. 1211, no. 5440]

The punishment in this hadith is simply for approaching the asking the astrologer, even if one is in doubt about the truth of his statements. If one is in doubt about the truth or falsehood of astrological information, he is in doubt about whether or not others know the unseen and the future besides Allah.

Haram means "forbidden" btw. I hope this answers the question and also gives the readers a little extra info :D

Q: Favorite quote? Is there any meaning behind it?
A:

Q: Favorite Song?
A: Let me link it for you :3

Q: Which superpower do you want the most?
A:

#UchihaPowers

Q: What is your favorite hairstyle that you've ever had?
A: ......... can we talk about hijab styles..?

Q: Favorite computer game? Why?
A: OMG LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THIS ATTACK ON TITAN GAME I PLAYED. (this won't answer your question by the way, but I just had to tell you guys this). It's basically a game where you are a SnK character and you have to kill titans. It's a very complex game with alot of controls (okay, maybe not that much, but it IS more than the average game) and let me tell you, that game is as scary as... Gengar. Even worse! You could be sailing around in your 3DMG and trying to kill the titan but the freaking titan is so fast and you just have to get caught and it eats you in the most gruesome way. (I had Mikasa's head torn off once) and its just SCARY. (I screamed when I died the first time because it was so sudden). Anyway, after that I had a nightmare where my city had titans and I was the best 3DMG user, but all I had were cans of airfreshener. So I was just zipping around trying not to get eaten and spraying titans with lilac scented freshener. I cannot tell you how terrifying that was. (just google Attack on Titan game if you're interested in trying it out)

Q: Do you think you'll be very different when you're older? What will have changed by then?
A: Well I can't really say haha. Basically, personality is a dynamic part of you. It will always change, whether you're in university, or if you're working or if you're retired. It is impossible for a person to remain stationary in character (WHY DO BOOK AUTHORS AND MANGAKA NOT UNDERSTAND THAT) so for all I know, I may predict some change and actually show the complete opposite xD

Okay, now for Maine's questions!

Q: What are you most interested in?
A: I like reading, writing, trying out new things, looking at DIYs and going like "Mmhm, I can do that" and then shutting it down and not bothering to do it even if I really want to. (the satisfaction of being able to do it seems to be enough for me o.o)

Q: When you find yourself in an embarrassing situation, do you laugh it off or get upset about it?
A: I pretend to laugh it off while I secretly nurse my injured pride and plot to assassinate you in various ways.

Q: Are you an introvert, extro-
A: *cuts off question* INTROVERT ALL THE WAY!

Q: Type of person you're attracted to
A: Well, if we're talking girls, I like people who respect silence (as in, they don't feel the need to fill every pause up with talking) and its a plus point if we have common interests. If we're talking about guys, I'll like them as long as they stay far away enough for my TOXICALERT not to go off.

Q: What do you believe in?
A: I believe in Allah, His messengers, His books, His Angels, the Day of Judgement and the fact that every man will be brought to account to every single one of his deeds, whether good or bad and that Divine Justice will be meted out on the Day.

Q: What videos do you usually watch on Youtube? Or favorite tv shows?
A: Did I tell you that Youtube is banned in my country? I don't think I did. Well, I don't miss Youtube that much anymore. But when I did use it, I used to watch Ryan Higa (yus Maine xD) and random anime stuff where people dub them and make funny episodes (omg, search "Akatsuki Unlimited" on youtube, the first episode is HILARIOUS you will die laughing! the jokes are all words though, so you'll have to listen attentively). As for favorite tv shows, it'll be Doctor Who currently.

Q: Funniest conversation (IRL or text messaging) you've ever had?
A: I've had my fair share of funny conversations but I can't seem to recall any right now...

Q: What do you do when you feel alone?
A: TUMBLAR. Oh, and I come on and read all the lovely blogs I've got followed. Pinterest is next if I'm really desperate >.>

Q: Can you go at least an entire day without social interaction?
A: Easy. I am quite happy to keep my thoughts to myself.

Q: Ebooks or books or you don't read at all?
A: Ebooks first >.> (I don't like wasting my money on a book I might not like). If I like it, I'll buy it. (I bought the Hunger Games series after reading the ebooks. The thing about good books is that you can read them over and over again, so it's not a problem buying the hard copy when you know it'll be worth it).

Q: What do you think of school/work?
A: School is a challenge. Work is when you get paid >.> end of thinking capacity.

Okay, now my eleven questions.

1. The scariest nightmare you've ever had?
2. The childhood fear that seems silly, but still frightens you to some extent?
3. These kind of people are the worst! What characteristic do these people have?
4. The kind of book you would LOVE to read would have...
5. If you had one single wish (because three is just unfair) what would you wish for? 
6. The perfect sort of holiday would be...
7. Would you rather stay in your own country or go abroad for studies etc? Which countries, if so?
8. You favorite pastimes involve...
9. If you had a chance to help humanity, how would you do it?
10. The biggest problem in the world must be this. What is it, in your point of view?
11. Have you ever been bullied? o.o

Now for my nominees!
Envy @ Picking up the pieces
Anna McAuley @ Banana and Bear
F @ The Fence Of Stars

Have a nice day <3

Aftermath

So now that my birthday is over and gone, I just wanted to compile some of the gems that I got that made me go like-

~Bro, where's my hug Q.Q ~

~ Here's kashaf xD I like how she's like "You're supposed to say thank you! Eighteen years and no manners!" ~

~Got this eaaaarrrlyyyy in the morning *you can see it says 2:11a* and she also put in a photograph/status thing up on facebook :) ~

~ and here's Lalie xD ~

~ tumblr buddy danganronpanda! AKA chocolate-darkrai :D ~

There's lots of other people who wished too but its just that I haven't gotten the hang of taking screen shots of computer screens *Google wished me as well O.O but I don't have evidence! D:*

Anyway-

FOR EVERYONE xD

Pieces of Life

THIS WEEK IN SOME RANDOM PICTURES

(these pictures, in no way, sum up my entire week though, just saying)

~I got this lovely suit from my aunt :D she got it from Khaadi~

~My cousin made me this adorable bracelet, that I'm not about to take off any time soon :D~

~Got this adorable screen shot :3~

~Got the Aga Khan admission form printed today and am probably going to be reading it over and over until I somehow manage to memorize it~

~Finished "The End of Time"  episode and NOOOOO~

~This is how I study~

~this is how my friends tell me what to study xD~

Journal Writing

So I thought I should finally sit down and start a little journal writing. There's something about writing down on paper that beats blogging on a computer any day. I think it's because paper and pen makes things so much more personal than a blog ever can (we are discussing personal, not beautiful, because I know my blog is very beautiful, okay).
Here is the notebook I bought especially for writing on. I got it from SIST earlier this year off a stall selling lots of cute stuff, but I just saw this and I'm like. Perfect. I've started writing on it already. I think I'll post some of my entries every now and then because I don't want to keep this completely separate from blogging.


Anyway, PERSONAL UPDATE. I'm feeling sick D: I've got a runny nose and a sore throat but no fever but sometimes my head hurts and I had a biology exam and I skipped one part I think because I didn't have time and I did the rest lazily like ooh I like this question, let's do this first and stuff and I forgot some stuff like how a pregnancy kit works like wth do I need to know that for I mean seriously. Oh and there was this funny sea horse questions and a funny mammoth question the mammoth question reminded me of Ice Age though I like Ice Age Ice Age is nice. <== this is literally how I answered essay questions in biology. Repeating same facts in different ways.
Oh and as if this wasn't enough, the biology teacher is like "regular classes wednesday onwards lel" and NO I DONT WANNA GO I mean I wanna sit at home and properly study you lot didn't give me enough time to study for the mocks, shove off my final exam timetable ;n; but nooo >_> well I guess I'm going to have to go, even though I don't want to.
We also have a Monal trip coming up, but it's just gonna be a bus ride to Monal, eat, come back and that sounds kind of boring no offense, Lilly wants me to come though. I might go, I'm not sure.
Anyway, I'm going to get back to studying psychology! It's the last mock exam left and then there's just the final CIEs left. I'm planning to join an academy for FSc on the last day of my science papers. That way, I can at least give the NUST Entry Test as well as have a head start for the Medical College Admission Test.

Possible Novel Inspiration

A friend shared this on Facebook and I have to agree, it DOES look like, and here I quote her words, 

"Omg this could make for such an amazing Dystopian Movie cover- HALAL YA DYSTOPIA "

So what do you think? Worth a shot at writing? I definitely think so, but a very good plot would be needed, along with realitistic characters. Also, I don't think handling dystopia would be very easy!

Aggravated

I've been meaning to write for a while now, but alot of things had cropped up. For starters, the revision plan I've chalked out don't really leave out time to write blogposts, especially with my being online on Dragon's Blade which is starting to also get mildly annoying and aggravating at times. I'm thinking about setting a specific day where I sit down and type a blogpost. A deadline blogpost a week. Thursday sounds good. Although I know I'll probably be shifting the day around to whenever I feel like it.
Right, where was I...
Oh, so we had a random discussion on parent relationships today. Like how alot of us look at our parents and then at other parents and say "I wish mine were like theirs". Many children probably think that of their parents, not on all aspects, but definitely for some. Such aspects include the emotional side of a relationship, for example hugging etc while others include the casual side, for example listening out instead of jumping to immediate conclusion in that fussy parent way.
If I was to talk about myself, I'd say I was raised up excellently in the sense that I was brought up to love books and to value education and to always strive to do my best and that is probably why I'm doing so good in my academics. This is something that I really love about my upbringing. On the other hand, there is no aspect of frank friendship or much hugs. However, after listening to what other people think they lack in their relationship, I don't feel so bad for myself anymore. I mean, so my parents aren't as close as I'd like them to be, but at least they aren't close that way to someone totally out of immediate family! When I think about that kind of situation (which, surprisingly, seemed pretty common) I feel really upset and helpless because there's nothing much you can really do to change that.
This discussion started out with us complaining about being bored and ended with us complaining of being depressed. Very, very, very much uncalled for. 

Absolute Randomosity

Today has been such a crazy day at school. It started off with standing during maths class. The teacher had asked us to bring past papers to class but I'd forgotten and so did half the class. So we were all asked to stand up. Meanwhile, my friend Lilly walks by and she sees me standing and she's like *thumbs up*.
Me: *mouthing* Don't get too full of yourself!
The next thing I know, she's back with Nyu and Zai and they take a picture of us standing. BUT they had the flash on so the math teacher was like- what was that and leaves the classroom to go find them. During this time, we all just burst out laughing because almost all of the smart students were the ones standing up.
Afterwards, we found out the teacher had gone to grill them and was like-
Him: Where's the camera?
Zai: I don't have a camera-
Him: *points to his eyes* I have two right here and I saw, okay?
After biology we went to the gym upstairs. We means me, Lilly, Sam and Maha and Ill. (Sorry I'm just making up lots of random code names because you know. Codes are cool). And somewhere there, started the discussion of getting married and Lilly's like, Kanra's not going to get married any time soon.
Me: You saying I can't get married? *pretend to be mad*
Lilly: Yeah! *laughing*
Me: Oh yeah? What makes you say that?
Lilly: Because you won't like any guy and no guy will like you
Me: Oh really! Don't make me actually try, bro!
And then later, after school we were sitting together and I said to her Sooo Lilly, what's up?
Lilly: I'm fine, how about you?
Me: I'm good too.
Lilly: And you're kids?
Me: They're good too.
Me: ...
Me: Hold on, you just killed all my hopes of ever having kids.
Lilly: *laughing again* I was just kidding, you'll get married! to a deaf guy!
Me: A deaf guy?
Lilly: Yeah, so he doesn't hear you going on and on bukbukbuk.
Me: I do NOT talk on and on-
Lilly: Besides, you'll probably get married to an American convert.
Me: I doubt that. I'm not very pretty and-
Lilly: You're pretty okay. Besides, simple girls like you are prettier.
Lilly sometimes says the most randomest things ever that really make you feel like, yeah there's still some hope for me. She's a great friend. Even with all the teasing.
Oh yeah, I forgot one other incident. during chemistry, the teacher was busy setting up multimedia so Lilly, Ill and Sam started singing in the back ground and they were going pretty good when suddenly, the teacher looks up and he's like "Is there a Pakistan Idol going on?" which cracked up the entire class.
Today was really funny. Alot of interesting things happened today and I wouldn't mind if every day had it's little bundle of fun and joy and friendship.