Monday, July 4, 2016

Why I Haven't Shared My Blog

I just really enjoy twitter chats, alright! It's a lot of fun to talk to people and there is an undeniable sense of satisfaction when twitter keeps updating with push notifications and you feel really good about yourself. Or maybe it's an introvert thing, I'm not really sure.

I had joined a twitter chat a few days ago where the subject had been about blogging (as usual) and one of the questions was "Do your friends/family know that you blog?".

My answer to that question would be a little complex. Here's why.


When I started this blog (my official blog, as I like to call it), I wanted it to be filled with quality posts. You know, those posts that have great photography and editing and a lot of interestingly written content and pretty aesthetics and make you think "Hey! This is pretty cool! I like it!".
Is my blog cool?
Is my blog there yet?
Probably not.

And that's okay! This is a goal I'm slowly but surely working towards. There are days when I have no idea what to write and I end up writing things in a hurry and I have this nagging feeling that my readers can tell I was in a hurry- because I put an emphasis on schedule.
Come what may, The Lunar Descent will be updated.
See a new post up every Monday and Friday.
Even if the content isn't that good.

This is one reason I am reluctant to share my blog with friends and extended family. I am a bit of a perfectionist and I have this mindset that other people expect perfection from me as well. My blog is far from perfect. There are things scattered all over the place, blog posts I need to rewrite, labels I need to fix.
Yes, I'm working on it.
Yes, I'll get there.
Not yet though.

Sometimes when I go through different blogs and Instagram accounts, I notice that some blogs have an enormous following with very little engagement. I wouldn't call these extra numbers 'ghost' followers or 'bought' followers, but maybe 'polite' followers. You know, the kind of people who just have to follow you because it's the socially acceptable thing to do.
Like how all your friends will add you on Instagram.
And you are obliged to follow them back.
Even if your feed is terrible and vice versa.

The thing is, I don't want people to follow me just because of common courtesy or because they feel obliged to, or just because they know me. ME. Whether I'm a friend from high school, or a current classmate, or a second cousin or a friend of a friend- they're following just because they know who I am.
The quiet girl who doesn't say a single word in class.
The same person who seems pretty mundane.
Let's see what someone like her could possibly be blogging about.

Now there's two outcomes of a sharing scenario. Either people will follow me to monitor my blog and see what I'm up to, what I'm thinking about, what I'm writing, who I engage with, what I post on social media, how many comments I get, how many followers I have.
Has she written about me somewhere?
Did she talk about that fiasco that happened the other day?
Maybe she's decided to write an opinion she's too scared to say out loud herself.

The other outcome could be something along the lines of indifference and perhaps disappointment. I mean, there's a lot of other bloggers out there too who write things that are far more interesting to read and entertaining to talk about. I don't post much about make up and product reviews or recent movie or tech releases. What's the point of following this blog?
If only this was like Buzz feed.
Where are all the GIFs?
There's no tips on how to lose weight or be smart!


I'm still thinking about whether I should come out with my blog or not. I've asked around and got a very positive response, encouraging me to share it, mostly from my friends. As for my family, my parents and siblings and select cousins know about the blog. They've also given mostly positive feedback but I still can't quite make myself bring this blog to light.

I've seriously made efforts towards it though. I asked a friend to design the blog header for me and also sat down to work on social media buttons on the side, trying to improve the overall visual experience of the blog. I'm hoping things get to exactly how I want this blog to look (aesthetically at least) with in a week.

What do you think? Do your family and friends know about your blog and blogging habits? Why or why not? What advice would you give me? Have a nice day!

24 comments:

  1. First off, I love the new header, it is gorgeous!
    Second off (that's not a saying, let's make it one yes?) this is such a sticky issue when it comes to making a blog. I never liked to tell people other than those close to me about blogging because it feels nice to be able to get readers as a result of your own content and the hard work that you pour into it instead of having people read because they know you in real life.

    I think for some people though it also becomes a way of being a different person on their blog than they are in real life, if they are shy and lack confidence in whatever their social circle is they can make a blog and express themselves through their words the way they want to be seen. Maybe it could help them become more confident in how they deal with people. It is easy to get lost in it though, and become completely immersed in a persona you make for yourself online.
    Whoops, that comment just got really long really fast. I'll stop rambling, I might be able to write a whole post where this comment is going :P

    Have a great day too!
    -Crystal
    You're Just Right

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    Replies
    1. Your right about that! I wanted to get followers because of my content, not because of me, who I am. But then comes in your second point, that's I've built an online persona of myself and I feel that I've become much too immersed in it, that there's a sharp contrast between the words here and the person writing them and I don't think I understand this very much. I thought that maybe if I try applying glue to the words and to myself by announcing this blog as mine, I'd get somewhere. Does that make sense? I'm not sure xD

      I'd LOVE to read an entire post with your opinion! :)

      Delete
  2. Very interesting facts. Well, my family don't know about my blog, mainly because I've written some very deep, personal pieces (and they don't even speak English so what's the point?). I've shared my blog link on social media but it happens that my "friends" don't really care.

    Now, I do understand what perfectionism, I am a perfectionist too! But to be honest, if I were you, given that your family is already supportive, I would tell my friends too. Perhaps, they could help you sort it out. They could encourage you. But whatever, maybe you enjoy having your secret place on the internet, and that's totally understandable! But whatever you choose to do, follow your heart.

    Have a good day!

    Giulia x

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    Replies
    1. I do enjoy my secret place on the Internet! Very much! A part of me hopes that if I share my blog, people will ignore it and let me frolic carefree with my blogger friends xD I mean, if all my friends and family read this blog, it won't be secret and personal anymore right? Cause unfortunately, my social circle is well versed in English :p so I'd have to be very vigilant in what I post!

      Just another reason not to blatantly announce it xD or perhaps I should announce it once and not spam it around, maybe? Ugh, decisions, decisions...

      Delete
  3. Loving the header! It looks really great! Good job! ✨
    Three of my friends know about my blog, and so does my Mum, but I won't let any of them read it! I'm scared about being judged, I suppose! I certainly wouldn't share it on FB because I feel that I can write more openly if I know that people I know IRL will never discover it! I understand your feelings 100%!

    Abbey 💕 www.abbeylouisarose.co.uk

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    1. Abbey, you write fantastic stuff though! I'd be totally proud to show your blog off if you were an irl friend of mine! But of course, your comfort zone is most important!

      And yes, that's what is worrying me about sharing on Facebook, that a lot of people will suddenly have access to my blog and I won't be able to control anything 😔

      Delete
  4. I've told a few friends about my blog and my siblings know, but that's about it! I'm not sure what's holding me back about sharing it - perhaps a touch of perfectionism here too. I don't mind if people 'discover' it through finding my personal twitter account maybe, but I'd rather not shout about it either :D
    Jennifer x
    Ginevrella | Lifestyle Blog

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    Replies
    1. Yes surprisingly, I'm fine with people stumbling across my blog through Twitter and tumblr! Not so sure about Facebook and Instagram though cause I feel that those two platforms are where people are more likely to judge in a negative aspect, where Facebook imposes social norms and Instagram wants picture perfect posts.

      Twitter is much more friendly :p I love followers and readers from Twitter! 💙

      Delete
  5. I can understand being reluctant to share your blog. I shared my blog when I first started it, but since I shifted my content to be more casual and lifestyle-esqe, I stopped. I'm not embarrassed or anything, but I thought my friends would get annoyed with me always sharing my links on my personal social media. It's all about what makes you comfortable and happy. And hey, maybe it can be your motivation to get the set up and aesthetic you want! You do you, baby girl. XOXO

    Breanna Catharina
    smile--sugar.com

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    1. It certainly is motivation! I wouldn't have gotten my header and other blog links updated if I hadn't started seriously thinking about owning up to this blog!

      At least something came good out of this somewhat stressful thinking, right 😁 I really respect you for sharing your blog right from the start! I think that would have been near impossible for me to do cause it would have placed high standards on me mentally (I'd constantly be thinking about making the blog look good and posting etc). Thank you so much for your support! 💙

      Delete
  6. I totally get this! It took me so long to decide to share my blog with friends and family just because I didn't know how to be like.. so I started a blog.. Its a bit of thing... kinda taken over my life hahha. No but seriously, I wanted it to be perfect before anyone saw it but in the end I was just so proud of it even it it wasn't perfect that I shared it eventually anyway!

    Chelsea
    Www.tastethetea.co.uk

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    1. Chelsea your story sounds like a fairy tale ☺️ It's amazing that you shared it and you were proud of your blog all the way! I'm proud of my blog too but I can still see a lot of flaws and imperfections. I'm proud of these imperfections, yes, but I'm worried that other people might not understand what I feel about this blog? I want to work on things a little more until I feel that it's just right!

      Delete
  7. i never share my blog because I'm too shy. No one except my mom knows about my blog and she doesn't check it. Lol

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    1. Oh but Madeline, your blog is so nice! You post really informative things that should definitely be read! You write things casually and make reading facts fun :) I'm sure your friends would appreciate it!

      Delete
  8. I really loved how honest & raw this was, the writing style with the 'inner commentary' style bits really gave it dimension! Its so damn relatable and I love that you choose to write about stuff that isn't 'the norm' in the blogging world. Your no nonsense attitude is so refreshing & it's great knowing others go through similar blogging dilemmas! My family know that I dabble in blogging but they've not actually seen it, I like to keep it more personal in that sense. I'd say go with your gut & do what you feel comfortable with! xo

    http://curiouslilpandora.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Thank you ☺️ The italics bit are definitely my inner sarcastic anxiety inducing characters in my mind talking. They're finding all the support soothing, that perhaps worrying about all this shouldn't be a priority!

      It's great to see that other bloggers also keep their blogs separate from their friends/family but then there are people who do share and they seem so confident and happy that they've done so. It kind of made me want to do it too. But of course! I'm going to do with what I'm comfortable with and go with my gut feeling, just as you say!

      Delete
  9. Hahaa I really love how we can all relate to this post. Honestly, my blog is just about some things that are already shared on the internet such as quotes and I blog about them because I love it. But my favorite part is to connect with other bloggers and get to know them :D Not much people know about that though. And also reading your older posts, I can say you speak the truth and I like how you just say what's on your mind. That is awesome Kanra! :D

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  10. I can't tell you how much I could connect with this post. In the initial days when I started blogging, I used to share in on my facebook and almost everybody visited my blog, overtime, I stopped blogging and when I wanted to make a comeback, I just changed the url because honestly, I'm not very comfortable with people I know going through my inner musings. And, I could write about the hows/whys of it, but you've saved me the trouble. It's for those exact reasons that I'd rather keep my blog to myself. I love how raw this post was. Just do what makes you happy. Your parents and close friends know about it, and for now that should be enough :)
    Goodluck to you, Kara!

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  11. I haven't shared my blog with friends. And after seeing the enthousiastic responses of your friends when you asked if you should share it, I guess I shouldn't do it. My friends don't care half as much as yours :P I'd probably only end up with my dad as a permanent blog stalker :P

    x Envy
    Lost in Translation

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  12. This is such an honest post, I can really relate to most of it. I haven't told all of my friends and family yet, and mainly because of the same reasons as you. Don't feel pressurised into telling anyone/hiding your blog from anyone, because it's YOUR own personal space so you get to make the rules! Have just come across your blog and I abs love it, can't wait to read more ♥️

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  13. I've been very open about my blog personally. I've never gone announcing that I am a blogger, but I've linked to it on my social media accounts and mentioned it to my extended family and a couple close friends. I feel as if blogging is personal and can quickly get messy if mixed with our social lives. I do, however, consider all my readers friends and love seeing what they are up to on a daily basis. xx
    peridotcove.blogspot.com

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    1. I should add, though, that my parents were my first supporters and loved my blog from the start. While I feel like some element of your life online should be kept private, it is necessary to have some support and encouragement from your personal life. What are your thoughts?

      Delete
  14. No one at school or at home know that I have a blog because I'm not really the kind of person to be emotional in front of people and my blog is super personal so I can't bring myself to tell them about it. And just like you, I too is a bit of a perfectionist so I need to work on my blog A LOT before I can expose it to them.

    Leila xo

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  15. Alright, so, this comment is super duper late but who cares.

    I totally understand where you're coming from with this, Kanra! I have a very, very close relationship with my family, I have wonderful friends - and not one of them knows I have a blog. I've been tempted to tell people as well, but it's difficult. I don't know if you have this, but it's ...embarrassing, I suppose, for me to share personal things with people I'm close to. Things that would show them a new, deeper side of me. And because of that, I eventually came to the conclusion that, for now at least, it might be better not to tell anyone about my blog. 'Cause if I did, then I'd start unconsciously censoring myself. I'd stop writing what I truly wanted to write. At the same time, I know my family would love to see what I've written; and I bet yours would as well.

    I guess we just have to weigh the consequences of each option. For now, it may be better to keep your blog to yourself. In that case, fight the urge to tell for a little while.

    Best wishes to you, Kanra! :D

    ReplyDelete

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