Saturday, September 12, 2015

The Innocent Attempt at Murder

You know those little episodes that happen in your life that people suddenly seem to associate with you even though you're a changed person and don't act that way anymore? Or if you still do, the other person misinterprets what you mean (not on purpose of course) and continues to bring up their side of the story? Like when you accidentally mispronounce a word and your friends turn it into an inside joke that will never seem to fade. Or when your dad starts telling stories about how you used to sit in the shopping cart and blow kisses to complete strangers.

We all have at least one of those stories and here's mine. (ok, the shopping cart one is also mine)

My brother has a habit of bringing up this episode every month on different occasions. I can only place my palm on my forehead as he shifts his posture and begins to reminisce out loud, in a style that clearly communicates the exaggeration and grandness of the story to come.

This is probably the picture of what he's describing me as in his story.

He claims to still remember that day, even though he was actually only a few days old (questionable, but as I said, exaggerated) and he had been placed in his little baby bouncer as my mother went to take a shower. All was well, for I watched over the small baby as well as any two year old could.

Until he started crying.

In a mad fit of rage (again, questionable) I had picked up one of the many apple slices that had been cut for me and shoved one down his tiny throat, perhaps in the effort of trying to choke him to death (or maybe I thought he was hungry) which did indeed, result in choking. (I personally am of the opinion that I had gotten this idea after watching Snow White because it too focused on feeding apples to people to make them fall asleep)

Mother's intuition beeped when the crying was cut off and she hurriedly came out of the shower to find me eating apple slices, looking mildly pleased that I had managed to make the baby quiet while the baby in question started having difficulty breathing as the shared apple slice slipped closer to the back of his throat, too large to go down. She quickly retrieved the apple slice and all was well.

For then, at least because my brother claims to be in constant fear of his life in case I decide to finish him off once and for all. It is amusing, especially since he towers a good 10 inches over me. It doesn't stop him from hesitating to bring up this incident, though, whether it is at the dinner table, at family gatherings or even at Eid!

1 comment:

  1. This is kind of morbidly funny. XD I'm really glad, though, that your mom was concerned with the baby stopped crying and put your clever scheme to an end—because as creative as you were I guess no one wants to have a dead baby story to tell on holidays. Instead you have your brother, who is maybe annoying, but still. It's a good story!

    ReplyDelete

Feel free to comment and leave a link.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...